Kirito Watched
by Luna Myth 11
Summary: He didn't mean to be a stalker and he wasn't supposed to interact with her, but he burned with the desire to help Asuna.
Kirito watched Asuna from across the room.

He didn't mean to stalk her, but in the cafeteria during lunch was the only time he could get away with seeing her, even from a distance. He wasn't allowed to talk her, she wasn't allowed to talk to him, and they definitely were not allowed to touch. So he watched her from across the lunch room, ignoring his own lunch and his own companions in favor of gazing at Asuna with hers.

She had quite a few friends, his Asuna. Kirito rarely talked to people and people talked to him even less, but four to five people always sat with Asuna, huddled around the same lunch table, breathing the same air and hearing her voice.

From Kirito's perspective, it was hard to believe her popularity had taken a blow at all when the truth had come out. He'd seen people whisper, people stare, people shun, but with her surrounded by friends, included in conversation and life, he could almost convince himself everything was okay.

But then Asuna shifted forward in her chair, a hand falling to her belly, and Kirito remembered panting, and cries, and overwhelming touch, and then sweat, and tears, and pale, drawn skin, and fierce cold words, and high shrill shrieks, and a promise that forced out of him when there was nothing else to be done.

He also remembered looks of grief, of shame, of hurt, and of betrayal, and bags under eyes that lasted for days. But there was nothing else that could be done now. He had promised to stay away. He would have to keep that promise, or else there would be worse than heartbreak and longing and shame to deal with.

Kirito had watched Asuna whenever he could ever since her pregnancy had become clear. There had been a dim possibility, very dim, that he could have stayed away and upheld his promise in its entirety if it was only Asuna. He was doing so for her sake after all. But there was a baby involved. His own flesh and blood. And of course there was, because the whole situation wouldn't have occurred without it, but when Kirito saw the first slight swell of Asuna's stomach, reality had hit him harder than a speeding semi-truck. There was life, with the combined DNA of him and Asuna, growing in there. He would be damned if he didn't look out for it, even if only from a distance.

Asuna soothed her bump subconsciously as she continued with her lunch, but a troubled expression came over her face despite it. Kirito watched her lean back in her chair and grit her teeth, hands placed on her belly. The others at her table didn't notice.

He didn't mean to be a stalker and he wasn't supposed to interact with her, but he burned with the desire to help Asuna. That was what he was supposed to do, as a lover and as someone who was soon to be a parent. Someone should be helping her, he thought. This wasn't something Asuna was supposed to do on her own.

Kirito grit his teeth and stayed in his chair.

A moment passed, with Kirito watching Asuna with more intensity than he knew he possessed, before Asuna's troubled expression passed and the normality he'd been living in for the past six months was restored.

In truth, Kirito knew it was more than six months. He could have told you the exact number of days it had been since he'd last had a conversation with Asuna. He could have told you how many hours had passed since he'd first began watching Asuna during lunch. He could have told you anything about the situation except for how many days it would be total before he stopped having to watch her at lunchtime and how many hours it would be before he could see her again.

He couldn't have told you how many minutes passed quietly while he watched her, though, because his eyes rarely left Asuna to check a clock.

Time moved forward, the school's lunches were eaten, and Kirito watched when Asuna's teeth clenched again, her hands darting to her swollen stomach instinctively.

Once again, he was the only one who noticed. He had noticed every trouble and every pain Asuna had brought to the cafeteria and a fair few in classes and in between.

He wasn't trying to stalk her, but he was very good at watching now.

Kirito's hands pulled into fists as he imagined standing beside her, taking her hand, and asking if she was okay. He pretended she was squeezing his hand and that's why his arms were so tense, not the bottled up need to rush to her manifesting in his clenched fists.

He remained in his seat and his eyes remained on her.

When lunch ended, Asuna and her tablemates stood up. Kirito mentally willed himself across the room to help her, watching as someone else helped instead. A dull, familiar pang struck his heart, but it wasn't enough to break through the numb outer layers. After all, he'd watched it happened nearly every day for the past six months. He wasn't sure it got easier, just different, watching someone help his love in his place.

Kirito always waited to be one of the last people to leave the cafeteria, for several obvious reasons, and he kept a close eye on Asuna through the quickly dispersing crowd of people that always followed the lunch hour. She moved slowly and deliberately, dropping off her tray before seeking shelter in the bathroom.

Normally that was the end of it and Kirito would put his own tray away and head to class. But today he was worried because of Asuna's peculiar looks of pain, so he put his tray away and hovered by the trash cans. No one in the crowd paid him any mind.

Asuna was heavily pregnant and it was far from out of the realm of possibility for her to be experiencing contractions. Kirito had no idea if they were real ones or not, but he felt tension humming between his shoulder blades and instinct was pushing him to hang around.

He rather trusted his instincts. He hung around until he saw Asuna exit the bathroom, looking pained and red-faced from exertion.

Adrenaline raced through Kirito at the sight of water seeped through Asuna's skirt and he made a strangled noise, overwhelmed by conflicting impulses. He would have stuttered in shock, but he wasn't supposed to be here. He wanted to help her and take her to the hospital or something, but he wasn't allowed to touch her. His heart tried to pound from excitement and freeze from despair at the same time.

At last he couldn't stand it and he began to pace up and down, towards Asuna and away, as he watched some of her friends usher her from the room out of the corner of his eye.

He followed them.

His dark clothes and loner tendencies served him well as he trailed the group through the halls of the school towards the administrative office near the front. They stopped once when Asuna came to an abrupt halt, her breathing growing ragged, and Kirito automatically tuned out the whispers of the other students. His singular focus, as always, was Asuna and the baby.

Asuna entered the administrative office. Kirito didn't follow her in, as much as he hated to lose sight of her. He put his back to the wall beside the door and listened to faint murmurs from the other room. He couldn't discern when Asuna was talking and when someone else was, but it was the closest he'd come to hearing her voice all day.

There was a low grumble and the shuffling of papers before Kirito heard a door open. He bit back his frustration and falteringly looked in through the slit of the door. Asuna and a girl named Lisbeth were heading out the front, leaving the others in the office.

Kirito tensed, sucking air through his teeth in a sharp noise, and pulled away from the door, pressing himself against the wall to the side. The door opened and several girls walked out.

He held his breath when they saw him. Even if his face was mostly blank, his mere presence was incriminating in itself.

The girl in the lead heaved a sigh, looking like she was going to roll her eyes. She jerked her head towards the door to the office and looked at him expectantly when he hesitated.

Kirito slipped through the door, hesitating a moment longer to try to form words.

"T-th…"

The girls had already started off down the corridor. One of them looked back and shook her head, looking pointedly towards the door, before continuing on.

Stepping all the way inside, Kirito closed the door and carried on walking across the office like he knew what he was doing. For some reason, none of the faculty looked up and Kirito hurried on, bursting through the swinging doors that led outside. Crisp cool air engulfed him and he remembered to breathe.

Asuna and Lisbeth were entering a taxi a little ways down the street. Kirito felt a stab of pain and a spike of adrenaline as he watched Asuna fold herself into the car. A hand came up to her bump as the door closed.

Pulling more air in between his teeth, Kirito scanned around the lot and started running towards a bike rack. His motorcycle was there and he couldn't afford to lose sight of Asuna. He mounted it and took off, only remembering his helmet when he couldn't possibly put it on.

He didn't know when he'd transitioned from looking out for Asuna and the baby to deciding on following her to what was presumably a hospital, but it was far too late for such questions now. Kirito followed the taxi relentlessly, putting on his helmet when they reached a stoplight.

It was fortunate he did because not two lights later, his motorcycle was waiting beside the taxi and he could glance in through the windows, spying Asuna with a pained expression on her face. He watched Lisbeth make awkward attempts to comfort her with some success. He couldn't bring himself to look away.

Asuna noticed him outside the window the moment the light changed. Kirito faced forward and gunned his motorcycle, shooting off down the street. He clenched his teeth and fought against a hard bit of anger in his chest. Now wasn't the time for that.

The taxi soon overtook him and Kirito doggedly followed it to a hospital in a wealthier part of the city. This didn't surprise him. It cleared up who was paying for the taxi, too. Asuna's mother, the same person to whom Kirito had made the promise to stay away from Asuna. He noted this insight with grim satisfaction, but also simmering annoyance. This woman could provide a taxi and a room in one of the best hospitals in the country for her daughter, but still she refused to allow Kirito to speak with Asuna, even casually.

He had stayed away from her for months, but no longer if he could help it. The taxi turned into the parking lot and pulled up by the back entrance to the hospital. Kirito parked his motorcycle. Lisbeth had gotten out of the taxi and was helping Asuna out as well, guiding her towards the building.

Kirito rushed after them. He'd taken off his helmet and stowed it on his bike, so now there was nothing separating his vision from Asuna except empty space. Still, he trailed behind at a safe distance and watched Asuna's shoulders rise and fall.

The inside lobby of the hospital was small and brightly lit. It was a miracle Asuna didn't see him, but a nurse was leading her and Lisbeth to what was evidently a reserved room and Kirito had to race to catch up. Other patrons and staff looked on disapprovingly. Kirito ducked his head and kept going. He couldn't let her out of his sight.

His luck ran out when Asuna and the others entered an elevator. He faltered and watched as the doors closed on Asuna struggling through a contraction. If she hadn't been in so much pain, she might have looked up and seen him. Instead the doors closed and Kirito stood lost in the middle of the hallway.

Someone cleared their throat behind him. He whirled around.

It was a woman in a lab coat. She lifted her chin towards the elevator door and said, "Are you the father?"

"Y-yes," Kirito stammered. "C-could I-I…?"

The woman lifted up some papers on her clipboard, scribbled down something, and passed Kirito a slip of paper. "Here. Don't get lost, now. And congratulations."

"Th-Thanks," Kirito said, looking down at the piece of paper with an expression of confusion. It had a room number on it. He raised his head and saw that the nurse was already gone.

Nervously hopping in the elevator, Kirito pushed what he hoped was the right button and leaned back against the wall. His heart pounding was the loudest sound in the silent space. The door opened with a ding.

The hallway was clean, well-lit, and completely empty. Kirito left the elevator with a start as the doors started to close, and looked at the room number again. It matched one of the doors on the left and he found himself standing in front of it before he had a chance to think. His stomach gave an abrupt leap when he reached for the handle.

His hand withdrew automatically and he was suddenly filled with doubt. After months of watching, his stomach twisted uneasily at the idea of seeing her face to face. Kirito reasoned that it had been just as many months since Asuna had seen him, but his worry only increased with the realization. He had in no way left by choice, but he now thought the odds likely that Asuna harbored some resentment for his absence. He had been watching many times when she needed him. There was nothing he could have done to help at the time. So Asuna had carried on without him and he wondered if it made her heart ache as much as his.

A sharp cry of pain resounded from inside the hospital room and Kirito tensed, putting his hand on the doorknob again. He opened the door with a silent whoosh of air.

It fell shut behind him with a soft click. The room was quiet now, filled with gentle cream colors and relaxed lighting. Kirito's eyes focused in on Asuna lying on a hospital bed, her hair almost matching the tone of the bed sheets. He nearly smiled at that. He liked the color of Asuna's hair quite a lot himself. But then he saw the sweat beaded along her hairline and the red blush of her face and the swell of her tightening belly, and he was much too anxious to smile. Lisbeth stood on the other side of the bed.

"H-Hello," said Kirito. He stood motionless by the bed, ramrod straight where he had frozen upon entering the room. He was almost standing at attention, his eyes fixated in front of him, his arms stationary by his sides, and it only seemed fair to him that he was like this because Asuna deserved all the respect he could give her.

"I couldn't stay away," he said. "I'm sorry."

Asuna's pain seemed to gradually fade away and she turned her head to face him, looking up at him in a daze until something fiery ignited in her eyes.

"Don't be sorry," she said. "Get over here and hold my hand."

Kirito stepped forward and took it, marveling over the sound of her voice and the feel of her skin. All concerns over his promise temporarily flew out the window.

"It would be my pleasure," Kirito said quietly.

"None of that," Asuna informed him. "That's what got us into this in the first place."

Kirito smiled. "Not that kind of pleasure. A different kind. Something from in my heart and mind and soul. It's from your presence, not just your touch."

"Thanks," Asuna said weakly. She squeezed his hand and took a deep breath.

Unease settled over the room despite the relaxed tone of the décor. Kirito glanced at Lisbeth, who was looking on resignedly.

"How much longer until the baby arrives?" he asked.

"We don't know," Lisbeth said shortly. "The doctor hasn't been in yet."

"Oh…"

Kirito was highly aware of how nothing was being said about the promise he was breaking. Maybe the others were just as scared about what would happen as he was or maybe they had too much on their minds to bother, but Kirito felt something had to be done about the situation before Asuna or the baby paid the price.

"We think it's a girl," Asuna said suddenly, breaking in on Kirito's thoughts.

"A girl…" Kirito mused in awe. "A little girl who possesses a combination of our DNA. Now that would be something special."

"Yeah," Asuna agreed, her voice breaking slightly. "Yeah, it would be."

"Do we… will we…" Kirito struggled to ask. "Will you still get to keep her? I-If you want."

Asuna nodded thickly. "Can't take her away from me now. Not unless I let them. But I won't. No matter what."

Some tension eased out of Kirito's shoulders, but more still remained.

"W-What about your mother?" he asked. "What can she do? Now that I've broken my promise to her…"

"I don't know, but-" Asuna cut herself off with a groan of pain.

Kirito's eyes widened and he clasped Asuna's hand in both of his. There was a moment of amazement at how readily she accepted his touch, as if they'd never been apart. Being able to hold her hand through her pain was a miracle.

"Regardless of what your mother says, I don't think I can bear to leave your side again. So I accept the consequences of this decision wholeheartedly," Kirito declared. "And I won't allow anything bad to happen to you because of it, Asuna."

Asuna panted as her contraction died down and when she regained her breath, her expression lightened into something approaching contentment. Kirito gazed at her with hope rising in his chest.

"You know I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you either, Kirito," Asuna reminded him. "So between the two of us, our child shouldn't have any problems, but still I have to hope everything will work out okay. I need you with me for the sake of our future. For the sake of our baby. We stand so much more of a chance together."

Kirito knelt and pressed a kiss to Asuna's hand. "There's nothing I'd want more than to be together with you and our child."


End file.
